This morning's breakfast consists of a mouthful of air as I rush around getting the tot ready for massage class. I look in the mirror and discover a burst blood vessel on my right eyeball. Great - all I need now is open sores on my face and I'll look just like Woogie from There's Something About Mary.
We hoof it up to the local nursery with minutes to spare and take our place in the circle, looking forward to participating in the peaceful joy of mother/son bonding.
Well. He's having none of it. I admit, there was no time for a top-up feed and a quick nap beforehand and boy am I regretting it now. I want to giggle as this is his first instance of disrupting class. I am sure will not be the last. Anyway he starts with a grimace, which looks like a smile and so the others comment on how much he's enjoying himself. I smile nervously but don't make eye contact with anyone due to scary bloodshot eye. He sticks his bottom lip out and I know it's coming... It must be quite a scene when I finally pick up my screeching baby, laugh to drown out his cries and look like I'm going through some sort of evil Black Swan-like transformation. "It's okay, really, he's never like this..."
Today's Rant
Alas, fashion seems to be all about the legs right now. Legs I don't have. Everywhere I look I see Bambi in shorts, Bambi in a mini, Bambi in skinny jeans and daughter of Bambi in leggings. Is there nothing out there for the less coltish of limb? Maxi dresses just swamp me and midi skirts make me look matronly, as much as I like the idea of them. Damn it to hell, I will not be lulled into a false sense of security by waterfall cardis
Food for thought...
...especially if you get any stuck in your teeth and don't need to worry about brushing it away:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-477378/Six-weeks-wash-The-soapless-experiment.html
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